Happy New Year, y’all


So, we have ushered in yet another New Year. How I know, you ask. The calendar, people. Duh! Dad got home a brand new one, mama discarded the one hung on her kitchen wall, the maid rolled it up and kept it in a corner, and I got to run around the house with a calendar in my mouth, pretending to be one of those good dogs who fetch the morning newspaper for their humans. I pity those guys though. Soon, I got tired of it, so I held the damn thing between my paws, shredded it to pieces, and made a big mess on the carpet and the floor etc.

But that’s not all. While you humans were busy ringing in the New Year, partying till dawn and getting wasted, I had a little party of my own going on. First of all, I went to this New Year’s Eve lunch, and spend a whole afternoon basking in the sun. There some really tiny pups right across the road from me, and I was all like ‘awwww, how adorable’. But then, my human baby, along with this other human I really like, went out play with them, and I kinda lost it. Hello, I’m right here! Play with me! So, I spent the rest of my time there barking and making these little pooches crap their pants. Lots of fun.

When we got back home, dad’s sister was already there, bags in tow, waiting for us. So, I figured she was going to spend some days with us. Oh man, what a brilliant twist to wrap up the year with. She, like the rest of my human family, loves me to bits. The cherry on the cake is that she actually prefers me to all the humans in my house, including the baby version. You know what that means? Lots of petting and playing fetch. So, I hopped and skipped and squealed with joy.

The evening turned out to be exactly how I had imagined – lots of petting, sneaking into her blanket and playing ball. I even stole some of baby’s toys in my exuberance and chewed on them. Then the humans got all dressed up and perfumed, and went out to party, which meant I had the house to myself. I spent some time on my treats but I’m kinda starting to get bored of those too cuz they always taste the same.

Since, it was New Year, I decided to have a little party of my own and got on the sofa, which I’m not allowed to do by the way. But what’s the point of being home alone, if you are not going to break a few rules. The cushions felt like heaven against my back. I sat there somewhat tentatively at first. You know that feeling of being somewhere you don’t belong. The cushiony sofa soon eased away all my awkwardness and I stretched myself into a comfortable position. The plan was to get off it before my humans returned and keep with the whole ‘I’m such a good boy’ act. Soon, sleep came calling. I curled up and slept. It was only when my humans walked in on my sleeping on the sofa that I actually woke up. Mama shrieked a little upon seeing what I was up to, and then they were all in splits. She just tapped me on the head, called me a spoilt brat, kissed me good night and went on her way. That was that.

Been using that sofa as my bed for three nights now. 2017 is off to an awesome start.

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