It’s been two long years since we last met cuz mama has been a lil too busy doing her own thing all this time. Bummer! So, how have you all been? Awesome as before, I presume.
A lot has transpired in these two years and I can’t wait to share it all with you. Let me begin with the story of the time my mama grew fat.
It was a long, long time ago. Three years in human time, actually. But seems like forever to me. We were at my mama’s place – this beautiful hill town they call Nahan. I think I have told you guys about it before. Or have I? Can’t seem to recall – when suddenly she got sick AF. Like all the freaking time I would just hear her gurgling and throwing up. Now, just imagine if I were in her place. They would have taken me to that brutal human they call the ‘vet’, poked needles in my veins, put me on IV drips and taken me off food. Also, I would’ve gotten yelled at occasionally for doing my business on the carpet or the floor mats, which I just don’t get…like, hello, I’m saving you the trouble of cleaning disgusting puke off the floor. These humans cannot get simple logic sometimes. It makes me laugh out loud in my head.
Anyhow, mama also didn’t do her business on the carpet. She would dash off to what these people call the bathroom – I rarely ever get to see the inside of that part of the house – instead. So okay, at least the same rules apply to all of us.
Instead of taking her to the vet or giving her IV drips, all my human folks just went mad over making her eat. Let the poor girl give her tummy some rest, people. But no, they kept obsessing over what she was eating and how much she was eating. I mean sometime poor mama wouldn’t have even stepped foot outside the bathroom and her mommy would go running to her with a glass of juice or a bowl of nuts or one of the zillion other things you humans eat.
And lo and behold, in no time my mama was sporting a big paunch on her belly. Not only did she grow fat, she also grew lazy. Suddenly, I was not allowed to jump on her anymore and she no longer coaxed me to play fetch or chased after me in our little lawn. And of course, she kept getting fatter by the day because that’s what happens when you sit idle on your bum all day long and EAT. Oddly, both she and daddy were really excited about this getting fat business. My humans are a little weird like that, I tell you.
Me? I just wished I knew how to tell her to get off her ass and go for a run or something already cuz I really missed our play dates.